Extremely upset

Alas, the news that i've been dreading to hear finally came.

My maid will be leaving us in 2 months time for good after working for 2.5 years here with us. It's pretty shocking. Never expected her to leave this early. All along, she planned to stay on till her passport expires which is on January 2008. Because of one phone call, it changes all.

Her husband requested her to return for good and that her son also needed her by his side. Plus, her son has been asking for another sibling to play with. As a mother myself, i could understand her agony, between to stay on or to go home. Of course, like any good wife, good mother, family comes first. That i do not blame her. I would have done the same too if i were her.

I managed to have 2 talks with her after she told me of her decision but to no avail. Sigh. Seems like she is pretty set on it this time. She even cried -- she thought i didn't know but i saw her secretly wiped off her tears -- when she turned down my request to stay on and thanked my profusely for being such a good employer to her all these time and the wonderful time she has with my boys. For the record, she loves, loves my younger boy like her own.

Because of this, i have troubles falling asleep each night, fearing the thought of not able to find someone like her the next time round. Like all employers would say, finding a good and reliable maid is better than striking 4D toto. How true.

I am someone who dislike changes at all especially when i am feeling nice and comfortable like now. I dread the thought of starting all over again with a new person who will be sharing my life with.

And the worst part is, what if i am not able to trust the new maid and kids refuse her? Does that mean i will have to be with the boys 24/7? Does that also mean the end of our (hb and my) dating life? Does that mean we cannot sneak out in the middle of the night to go supper after kids have fallen asleep? Does that also mean i wouldn't be able to go out on my own (aerobics, facial, luncheons, shopping, etc), leaving the kids in her care anymore? :(

Scary!

Please please, let me find someone who is as good as my current maid. I dare not ask for someone better, someone who is as good and reliable will do.