Temporary closure

This blog will be closed temporarily for the time being due to some personal reasons.

For the past 10 months, i have found much joy in blogging. Blogging allows me to speak freely although not entirely, be myself [i express better with words and on cyberworld, i tend to be back my bubbly, childish with lotsa tongue sticking and grins self which i have lost these days] and most importantly, sharing my passion and the joyful events of my life [my boys].

However, because of blogging, it also brings harm to my personal life. Not once but twice or thrice. Some people have the tendency to zoom into the tiniest little details of what i've written and made my life difficult even though most of the time, what i've written or post is something to be proud of, well, at least that's what i think.

I have been suffering quietly for the past 2 weeks and i have enough. I will no longer put up a brave front on my blog and pretend nothing has ever happened.

My dad's condition is not improving. In fact, i'll be heading home tomorrow night for 2 days. So will my 2nd sister from Taiwan. Mom called me 2 days ago sobbing very badly on the phone over my dad's condition and what kind of daughter will i be if i continue to stay here and do nothing?

My pregnancy state doesn't help either. I've been aching silently for the last month or so now that the baby is getting bigger. Simple routine such as walking, turning while sleeping, wearing pants, getting up from sitting position etc prove to be a very painful task these days and you know what's worst? No one knows because i never really complain out loud. Would love to have someone to care and love and cuddle me at the end of the day and thankfully, i'm getting it all from my firstborn on daily basis who never fail to let me know i am the love of his life at the moment. Grin.

My boys, what is living without them?

Then comes the maid issue. Because my family isn't here with me, having a good maid as a support is truly very important to me. For the past 2.5 years, i dare say life was a breeze.. because of my good maid. She was my friend, my right and left hand, my children's playmate, my confidante, in another word, almost everything.

When i'm sad, she will be there to bring the children aside and entertain them while giving me some space. When i bake or cook, she will be the first to go ooh and aah and thumbs up to show her appreciation for my effort. When i need some time alone outside, she will be there to care for the children. When i'm lonely, she and the kids will be there to accompany me.

But ever since she is gone and got replaced with my new maid, life has totally changed. I don't think anyone can understand what i am going through. Everything needs teaching and guidance and what's worst is she isn't really good with my kids and she is homesick as well.

I'm really very stressed up, unhappy, depressed and down. No words can ever describe what i'm feeling now :(

Sigh.

So yeah, this blog will be closed temporarily but i will still continue to bake and cook for it is my passion and i find it therapeutic.