Thursday, February 08, 2007
Torn
I'm torn.
I do not know what to do.
I need advise.
You see, ever since my first maid left (the one who came back and with me currently), didi - my 2nd child has been really close to me. We've been sleeping together and i'm basically the only person in his universe. Every night without fail, he would insist to sleep with me. If he ever wakes up halfway, he'd cried out for me. When i gave birth last month, the kids went to my in laws' place to stay over for 3 nights together with my maid. But ever since i came back from the hospital, didi has 'contracted' this phobia that is not to ever go to my in laws' place without me fearing he will have to stay over there without me again.
Also, whenever i tell him i'm going to the hospital, he will make me promise to come home, with him in tears *melt*. And i like it especially after i've punished him, he will still come back to me for me to love him again. In another word, i was his everything.
I like.
But not anymore :(
2 days ago, i had fever. So i told the boy to sleep together with my maid and Sz - my firstborn. He again, made me promised him that when i'm well enough, he will sleep with me again. Yesterday, even though i had recovered, i didn't keep my promise.
My plan was to let him sleep with my maid so that i can sleep with baby after my confinement nanny goes back tonight. I continued to tell didi that i was still having fever and he believed.
THEN..
This morning when he woke up halfway, he shouted.. not for me, but my maid! My heart almost sank to the ground floor! (we stayed on the 23rd floor)
I went into the room wanting to sayang him but he told me he wants 'auntie'. *sobs* Thereafter, my maid went in and he got quiet. I left.
What i heard next was something i had never expected. Didi told my maid to 'bao bao' [hug] him while trying to sleep, something which meant to be a special thing between him and i when i make him sleep *sobs*. My heart by now, is broken into pieces.
I'm jealous.
I'm extremely jealous.
How?
I think i might convert my master bedroom to my children and me room. So that my all my children can sleep with me but i know i'll be very xin ku. Don't know if i can cope.. but i really don't want to see the special relationship i had with didi vanishes just like that.
Sigh.
Maybe i will try to make the 2 boys sleep by themselves minus the maid. To encourage them, i will get them the cute bedroom set.
What do u think?
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4 comments:
hugs. can emphathize with you. my sis went through something similar and called home to cry her eyes out.
parents told her not to take it too hard and be positive. this shows that your helper takes good care of your children and will not nue dai them if you are not there to supervise.
my sis actually did wage a tiny "war" with the helper. will tell you more about it yar?
hugs
on a happier note, ur buttercream is THE BEST!
Thanks dearie! =)
Didi is now sleeping with me again lol.. and baby with helper. But this arrangement is temporary till i get hold of the cute bedroom set :P
i like the idea of the boys sleeping on their own.
if u convert the master rm for u and the kids, what about the husband? isn't that going to be a little odd?
The husband?? He will be very very thrilled and happy if i were to tell him the news as he has been sleeping in the living room for sometime now, by himself.. lol.
Hb likes sleeping alone and anywhere will do except the master bedroom because of the fan. Heh.
Funny right? I would love to whack him for that..
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