Friends?

I have been left wondering for a couple of weeks now, wondering what did i do to deserve such treatment from her ... *sigh*

What are friends?

1. A person you know well and regard with affection and trust
2. An associate who provides assistance
3. A person with whom you are acquainted
4. A person who backs a politician or a team etc.

For me, it's usually no. 1..

I became pretty close to this particular gf of mine for quite sometime now. Whenever she sees me online, she will not hesitate to say Hello and we can chat for hours! We go out together, sometimes hang out in the same group and we even share the same passion and interest most of the time.

I thought she had became one of my close gfs whom i can really relate to or be there when she's needed and most importantly, someone i can really talk to about anything and everything but i was wrong. I felt so.. betrayed and frustrated for not knowing what causes it *sigh* But then again, when you give something willingly, you cant expect the same to be given back. There is no equality when it comes to friendship, something i've learnt from my dear hb sometime back.

Lately, whenever we are both online, it is always me to initiate the conversation first. At first i thought maybe she was busy or something, not free to chat bla bla bla but it doesn't look like it anymore. It's been a couple of weeks since we last had a proper chat. She no longer says Hello anymore or if we do chat, she'll end it shortly after. What's ironic is that when we do chat, it's like back to old times again. Same friendliness filled with excitement.

*sigh* I know she has closed the chapter to our friendship and i, on the other hand, will not pursue it further anymore. I've given up. Whatever it is, i think she has her own reasons to her actions. No doubt, it does bother me as i am someone who really value the meaning of true friendship. It really saddens me to see what have became of us She was really a wonderful friend. The lost is mine.